Moving into the Modern World!

Business Efficiency on the Up!

It wouldn't normally be a subject of particular interest, I know, but considering we moved to Nairobi to improve our communication with the outside world, it has to be worth a line or two!

First and foremost, to all with a Skype connection, we can at last speak to you and hear you without too much frustration.... we can even manage a video hook-up without breaking the bank!  Let me back-track a little and set the scene....

To access the internet in a land where hard-wired connections to your home are at best, unusual and in Naivasha were impossible, mobile connection was the only option.  You buy a "dongle", stick it into a USB port and with luck are able to pick up a connection; in Naivasha we managed a measly 2kbps link from home; Nairobi was significantly better and at certain hours we exceeded 1mb! Ensuring that the service was available as and when needed means that your dongle must be loaded....

A subset of our collection of scratchcards,
none of which were winning cards:-(

As Kenyan newbies, we were stuck with the pre-paid approach which required for both our phones and the internet, buying an inordinate number of scratch cards.  There is a catch, having loaded your dongle, you then have a 30 day limit in which to use your data "bundle".  Finding the balance between having enough capacity and not throwing money away was a challenge.  Skype sessions incidentally, are particularly effective at eating through your bundle at a rate of knots.  A further challenge came in the form of actually having the pre-requisite number of scratchcards necessary to re-load when your bundle ran out of kbs...available pretty much anywhere, from the street vendors to supermarkets it shouldn't be a problem to pick up a card, but TIA rules apply!  One attempt to purchase Safaricom cards was particularly frustrating, 

At the supermarket... "We have none", "When do you expect to have some?", "Perhaps soon...."

At the garage... "I think they are gone", "Can you check and see if you have any, please?", "They have gone..."

In desperation...with the street vendor.. 'They will come", "I understand but I need a Safaricom card now", "I think perhaps you must use a Zain card", "Zain is not the provider for my dongle, I need Safaricom", "The Safaricom card will come"..... and so will our rapid admission to the local psychiatric unit!

Our days of internet frustration are over!  After weeks of trying to get someone, anyone at Safaricom to respond to email messages, telephone messages and personal visits to their shops to get a business package, Jon eventually made contact with Alex, who provided us with a service second to none!  Within a week of Alex being on the case the engineers were on their way to put a mast up on our house and a post-paid account set-up with unlimited bandwidth -Woohoo!

Before reading what follow it is important to know that a detailed map to our house was provided to Safaricom.

The telephone calls from the driver started at 08.45....

"Where are you?" asks the driver

"Where are you?" responds Jon

"Langata Cemetry"

"Its easy from there, straight up Langata to the roundabout at Karen Junction, turn left on to Ngong Road, follow the Ngong Road until you reach the Shade Hotel and turn right at the next junction"

"What?"

For the sake of brevity, the previous two sentences were repeated four times, eventually the driver responded with "I will call you when I get to the junction"

30 minutes pass

Phone rings, "Where are you?" asks the same driver

Above scenario repeated several times....

10 minutes pass

Phone rings, "I can't find you, can you come to me?

"Where are you?" asks Jon

"Windy Ridge, at the Italia Osteria Restaurant"  Given the instructions above (repeated on numerous occasions), J was at a loss to understand why the driver had made an unscheduled stop.....

"Its really simple, turn right on to Ngong Road heading towards Ngong Town, turn right on to Kerarapon Road immediately after the Shade Hotel"

"OK, I will call you when I get there"  (Note we are literally 2 kms along a straight road from Windy Ridge)

10 minutes pass

Phone rings, "Where are you?"

"Where are you?"

"Shade Hotel"

"I am not at the Shade Hotel, turn right after the hotel on to Kerarapon Road, go to the barrier ask the security guard where we are"

10 more minutes pass.....

Phone rings again....."I am in Kanaiya Close, where are you?"  Given that there are only four other houses in the close and that we are at number three the challenge was not enormous.

11.00 AM 5 more minutes pass, J opens the gate and gesticulates to the vehicle sitting in the middle of the road to come into our driveway.  

FOUR "engineers" climb out of the car and remove from their boot a laptop, a screwdriver, a drill, a pair of pliers, the mast, an extension lead and a roll of wire.  What they did not have was a ladder, given that the mast was to be mounted on the roof we were wondering if levitation was the approach to accessing their mounting point. (additional TIA fact - anybody who needs to access the roof for whatever purpose will never bring a ladder - if you want the job done ensure you have the requisite ladder or at least several long pieces of wood that they can nail together to climb up).

11.20 Work starts....

Hard at work, playing online gambling game
"the signal must be tested"

Hard at work, the Supervisor who
later moved under a tree

The seemingly simple task of erecting a pole and attaching it to the chimney was clearly exhausting and took just over two hours, the excessive time required probably because we were not willing to accept their proposal to "drape the wire over the roof and into the house through an open window".  Asking them to feed the wire under a roof tile and into the house via the loft space was greeted with tutting and shaking of heads.

13.30 Activity in the house begins with an attempt to connect our router to their network cable.....

"I have never seen one of these before" (Apple Time Machine Router)

"Just the same as any other router, plug the wire in there and set the parameters"

Glazed look....

J provides access to the router and left them to it....those of you who have seen our entertainment system will know that after a certain length of inactivity the screensaver will be projected on to the wall, the screensaver being our photograph library.  This miracle of modern technology clearly outweighed the need to do their job and all four engineers spent an hour sitting, mouths agape, watching our photographs scroll across the wall, who needs cinema?

The following two hours were spent entering the same sequence of numbers into the router, over and over again, clearly the expectation was that eventually the network spirit would take pity upon the intrepid engineers and accept the right combination of numbers.   Understanding that the network spirit could be in a similar pose to the one depicted above; numerous, increasingly frenetic calls to the technical department at Safaricom were also made.

16.25 "It works"  

"Thanks, bye" No tip given, three appointments missed, a day wasted.....

Postscript....two days following the installation, our routine alarm check revealed that the Safaricom engineers had unplugged our intruder alarm/panic button system leaving us without the means to hail our friendly brick shit house sized guards in the event of an emergency.  Suffice to say that Ultimate Security employ significantly better qualified engineers complete with ladders!

Stationery Supplies

Coming from Europe and having needed to source stationery in large quantities on a regular basis we naively thought that it would be relatively simple to obtain a similar service here......WRONG (again).  Despite the fact that Nairobi is the major conference destination in East Africa, has hundreds of legally registered and probably thousands of unregistered businesses, you would assume (wrongly) that stationery would be easy to find.  The most recent edition of the Yellow Pages has at least 50 stationery suppliers listed. This  does not mean that:

a) They are actually in business

b) That the contact numbers listed are accurate

c) That having made contact there will be anyone who understands your needs (90gsm paper)

Visit to OfficeMart Shop - they are in business and have numerous physical premises in Nairobi

"Do you have 90gsm paper"

"No"

"Can you get 90gsm paper"

"No"

"Are you sure?" You may think that we are a little arrogant in asking this question, however, limited but intense exposure to general shop assistants has proven that they do not see any need to verify if a product is indeed available, this would necessitate moving from the spot of choice in which to spend their day.

"mmmmm, yes" followed by a resumption of their conversation with colleague or on permanently connected mobile phone.

"Errr, excuse me, I am not finished"

"What?"

"Do you have an HP05X toner cartridge"

Sigh, "I will call you back" and puts mobile phone in pocket  

Stares at large stack of HP inkjet cartridges for a protracted period

"No"

An irritate Jon responds..."It won't be there, you are looking at Inkjet cartridges, not toners"

Glazed look

"No, we won't have it"

J heads for nearest watering hole, shaking head and rolling eyes.

J resorts to the internet, not a generally viable approach here but when needs must...

Office Mart (again) - they have a website!  No prices, no online ordering - for each item you must send an individual enquiry about availability and price.  A request for catalogue resulted in a powerpoint presentation being sent via email, again without prices!  There is no such thing in Kenya as an RRP.  Prices are subject to fluctuation dependent on far too many variables to calculate.

It works!  It takes five emails to order one item but it works! 

John, the despatch rider arrives with coolbox
containing plastic wallets and toner cartridges,
on top of which were strapped two boxes of paper -
glad we didn't order the filing cabinet,
although the delivery would have been a joy to behold
- see previous blogs!

Documents wallets tied up with string,
less than perfect packaging but the
requisite supplies at last in the office!

Back to Safaricom

The scratchcard story applies to our mobile phones too.  Post-paid accounts are a recent development here requiring the patience of Job to set up an account.

First join the Safaricom queue, anticipate a minimum of 10 people before you...

One hour later, reach the service desk and collect the inevitable forms.

Forms completed at home in less than five minutes and scans of ID card and PIN number attached.

Return to a Safaricom shop (Yaya Centre), queue......

"Sorry, you cannot do that here, we are not a Safaricom shop"

"Ummm, you have large signs everywhere indicating that this is a Safaricom shop, you are selling telephones and you are wearing a Safaricom uniform"

"No, this is the wrong shop"

"Where do I have to go?"

"Another shop"

"Any particular shop?"

"Yes, a Safaricom shop"

S, having spent two hours getting to this particular Safaricom shop is less than impressed and sees yet another day in Nairobi traffic ahead.

Another TIA addition - what should be a five minute job inevitably leads to a full day out of the office and no guarantee of success.

A Real Safaricom Shop (Sarit Centre)

No visual difference between the real and imaginary shops although queues perhaps a little longer.

J enters queue, S goes shopping

35 minutes later S returns..."You haven't moved"

J has become Kenyan, "No", S leaves

40 minutes later S joins J at desk where assistant is mumbling and verbally asking for the information written on the form in front of him. 20 minutes later he has managed to enter name, address and telephone number for J's phone.  A further 10 minutes of staring at the screen...."its not working, there is a problem", he leaves and enters what looks like a cupboard.  10 minutes later he resurfaces puts J's paperwork to one side and starts on S's application, regrettably slightly more complicated  as international roaming required.

A further 30 minutes later J leaves for the bank to withdraw vast sums of cash required as a deposit.  

Having handed over the cash S is informed that service on her phone would be interrupted until credit checks have been completed.  J is happy as Larry (whoever he is) that he can now make calls (up to the limit of his deposit) and no more, regardless without ever having to scratch another card.

Lessons Learned

Patience

Patience

PATIENCE
Sod it, let's go and have a drink....

We are now connected!

Kwaherini!