Happy New Year

It's the last day of what can only be described as a roller-coaster year for us with extreme highs and lows; days when we were actually together and couldn't imagine living anywhere else in the world and days when we would have loved to have taken the first plane out of JKIA.  We, as have all of you have made it through another year, a year that passed at breakneck speed.

1st Anniversary in Kenya -
the end of a day on safari at Leleshwa

Where are we now?  At the end of November, one year after our move to Kenya, we committed to continuing our crazy lifestyle for the foreseeable future.  Yes, we are certifiably insane!

Nairobi, with all its ugly warts is where we need to be , at least for the interim.  With the only real airport that allows for relatively easy travel, coupled with access to the key business centre, it is the only logical choice.  On the subject of travel, allow me a gentle rant; please temper my ramblings knowing that in the space of seven weeks I travelled to Europe eight times, on two occasions for less than 48 hours...

Inane Statements made on board...

• After an hour of preparation to land, including innumerable tannoy requests for sitting down, fastening your seatbelt, handing back your headphones, followed by the discernable thud as the wheels touch terra firma and are now surrounded by other aircraft, buildings and the surreptitious use of mobile phones, "WE HAVE LANDED"
• After spilling your gin and tonic over your new outfit, fellow passenger or the seat; spearing your cheek with the fork holding your lunch, lurching like a drunkard in the aisle, been woken by screams and/or being convinced that the aircraft you are in no longer is capable of forward motion, "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, AS IT IS A LITTLE BUMPY PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR SEATS AND FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS"
• After completing a visual check to confirm that everybody has their seatbelts fastened, a safety briefing. "THIS IS HOW YOU FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT"
• With a departure time that ensures you will be in complete darkness throughout the trip, a route description from the flight deck, "AFTER LEAVING THE RUNWAY WE WILL MAKE A LEFT HAND TURN TOWARDS GERMANY, THEN AUSTRIA, FLYING OVER THE ITALIAN ALPS, DOWN THE SPINE OF ITALY AND CROSSING THE MEDITERRANEAN AND ENTERING EGYPT, FLYING OVER THE PYRAMIDS......" due to the inability to see anything without high-powered nigh-vision goggles, we could be flying over the Statue of Liberty, Sydney Harbour Bridge or the Hanging Gardens of Babylon  - who cares????

When turbulence is guaranteed...

• When you are desperate for a morning coffee
• Immediately on receiving your tray of food
• When the screaming baby two rows in front of you has at last fallen asleep
• When you have managed to get through the bar service, the meal service, the duty free goods, the toilet shuffle, and the announcements telling you your precise route to your destination and you have fallen asleep
• When the film you are engrossed in is at a critical dialogue juncture
• When your bladder has been stretched beyond  tolerable limits demanding a visit to the bathroom
• When you have just started to enjoy the relief of emptying previously described bladder
• When the aviophobic next to you has stopped praying, wringing their hands and generally chewing the back out of the seat in front of them has started to relax

Our Favourites of 2011

Best Safari Camps:

Tortilis Camp at the foot of Kilimanjaro in Amboseli Park

Mt Kilimanjaro - in case you need a clue

Sleeping quarters at Tortilis

Exceptional service, food and location.  The hill climb from our tent to the main building left us wishing for Sherpa Tenzing to be carrying our camera bags and an oxygen mask at the halfway point.

Fighting Bulls - this fight ended amicably

              





Wildlife in Amboseli can best be described as scarce compared to other parks, but, when it comes to the giant tuskers, you cannot beat this park!

       

Leleshwa Camp, Siana Conservancy (Near the Masai Mara)

Oops!

We enjoyed Leleshwa so much that we returned for our Kenyan anniversary at the beginning of December, with friends!  Marion and her Mum, Annelise from Germany and our longtime safari buddy,  Yannick.  Having enjoyed glorious weather at the end of September, the heavy "short" rains that continued into our stay transformed the landscape and required being "dug out" of trouble during an early morning game drive.   At least once when we are in the Mara we cross the Talek River, normally this involves driving down and  then up the steep banks of the river course and fording through at least 5 centimetres of water.  This time a crossing would have required the assistance of the Royal engineers or the Royal Navy complete with a frigate! 

The Talek as we have come to know her....and in December 2011

Baby hippo fighting for his life in the Talek River

Sweetwaters Tented Camp, Ol Pejeta, Nanyuki

Stevie and Tay enjoying their
Christmas pressie

 We have waxed lyrical about Sweetwaters before, every time the staff at this camp go out of their way to provide the best in service at what is an unlikely camp for us to choose.  With 40 tents this camp has the potential to be just a bit too manic but we have enjoyed every visit.  The camp is on a private reserve and hosts the only place in Kenya where you can see chimpanzees in the "wild", what a privilege.  When the weather permits Mt. Kenya is an imposing backdrop, unfortunately in December she kept herself shrouded in cloud for almost all of our stay, gracefully deigning to peep from behind her veil as we started the drive back to Nairobi.

No pajama fights at the waterhole right in front of our tents
Other guests at the bar included elephants, rhino, giraffe, a host of gazelle and battalions of warthogs and their young

Sweetwaters has the bonus of being an easy drive (once you are free of Nairobi), past the vast Del Monte pineapple fields, through the glorious Aberdares and into the shadow of Mt. Kenya.  This is where we plan to live.....eventually!

The awwwwww factor has to be had, and here it is..... captured by Stevie, a zebra foal, minutes old.


Best Place to visit in Nairobi:
David Sheldrick Elephant Orphanage

Surely this match should have been called off
due to rain?

Admittedly Nairobi fails to excel when it comes to tourist attractions, the ele orphanage however gives you the opportunity to see what can be done to protect these orphans who would have had no hope of survival in the wild.

We drag all our guests to the ele orphanage and everyone loves it! 


Favourite Food (Restaurant)
Without a doubt, the feta and coriander samoosas to be found at the Talisman Restaurant.

Favourite Kenyan Wine
Leleshwa (nothing to do with the safari camp) Shiraz.  At last a drinkable wine from Kenya!  OK, so you cannot compare this to the great wines from South Africa, but as an wine that is easy to drink on your verandah in the early evening, its fabulous.

Favourite Beach Accommodation
Asha Cottages on Diani Beach

Fabulous location, accommodation and food
We have nothing more to add

The Boys

Rafiki - "You called?"

Kidogo - "its a snug fit, but overall,
I'm comfortable"

The felines have taken the example set by their bigger cousins, panthera leo, and have become extremely lazy, sleeping for up to 20 hours a day and deigning to wake only when fresh chicken is being served or when they choose that human company may be in their interest.  Rafiki is the giant of the family, Boshi remains the waif, but manages to wrap every visitor around his paw.  It has become a habit to check that he has not been smuggled into luggage leaving with international travellers. Maisha and Kidogo hit their 10th birthdays in 2012 but still manage to behave like kittens!

Boshi - "I am not sure about
the en-suite facilities"

Maisha - "Why is my feeding bowl so inaccessible?"

Wally, our oversized puppy with boundless energy already demonstrates the ability to instil fear into visting workmen who are less than convinced that he is only interested in playing.  Despite a bout of tick-bite fever he weighs in at 35kgs, which we are told, is approximately half of his adult weight!


And that's it for 2011.  Wishing everyone a 2012 filled with laughter, happiness and dreams that come true.  We still have a mountain to climb to make eco4u and CRAfrica work but the dream is alive and we are living it. 


Salama Mwaka Mpya
Kwaherini!

Celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary at Leleshwa

1997

 It seems as though we have been together forever, at the same time our wedding in Shimba fourteen years ago feels as though it could have been yesterday! 

To celebrate Jon booked us a photographic workshop at a safari camp, Leleshwa; a small camp in the Siana Conservancy, close to the Masai Mara - after twenty years of African holidays we thought it high time that we actually learned to take a decent photograph!

2011

Sherry arrived back in Nairobi from Barcelona late on 8th September and so a somewhat frenetic evening was spent trying to ensure that we had all the necessary stuff packed for safari and that the feline and canine boys being left behind were well catered for.  As it happened some bits and pieces were left in Nairobi when they were needed in the Mara...typical last minute packing errors!

05h15 on 9th September was heralded by the hideous and incessant screeching of the mobile phone alarm call.  To say that we bounded out of bed with excitement would be pushing the facts but within an hour we were trying to persuade Wally that his butt was not a pre-requisite to starting the vehicle and getting on the road. He has mastered the sad, deprived and bewildered look that guarantees that when you leave you feel guilty as hell.

Through the windscreen - Wildebeest Crossing

The drive down, about four hours, was uneventful.  All of our previous complaints about Kenyan roads had to be put to bed, at least for part of the journey...the road from Maai Mahiu to Narok was a dream come true, smooth and quiet.  It proves that you can have good roads here!  Just after Narok the road took a turn for the worse although nowhere near as bad as we had expected.....then we caught up with the repair crew.  Oh Dear.  Suffice to say, the last hour of the journey was spent weaving across the road in an attempt to stay on the slim slivers of tarmac that have survived.  This is not so much of a road with pot holes as a group of holes pretending to be a road.  At Mwisho wa Lami (official end of tarmac) aka Ngoswani; David, our guide was patiently waiting for our arrival, greetings over, we were informed to follow him and hang back a bit due to dust!  He did say he would go slowly......Michael Schumacher would have struggled to keep up!

Lounge tent at Leleshwa

Arrived at camp eventually, we are sure that the promised 20 minute drive took longer but maybe that was because we were reluctant to spend more time in the air than on the ground (we could hear David and Samwel (the spotter) laughing at our snail-like progress.  Arrival included much needed hot towels and cold drinks.  Although we had parked, apparently at the camp, there was no immediate sign of any buildings, temporary or permanent in the vicinity.  Brandy, a German Shepherd was an unexpected component of the welcoming party, later in our stay she even joined us for a morning game drive:-)

Scops Owl - a tiny little thing about 15cms high

A few moments later we rounded yet another Leleshwa bush and were delighted to see rather well furnished lounge and mess tents, complete with Mike and Gary, our hosts.  The camp is small, just seven tents and the only other guests were out on safari so we were able to enjoy the luxury of camp all to ourselves.  Our first new species to cross off the list being the African Scops Owl, a pair of these adorable birds live permanently in camp.  Mike, our host and photographic trainer, pulled out all the stops and upgraded us to a suite tent for our anniversary.  The tent was at the furthermost point of the camp, surrounded by pure African bush - OMG it was huge!

Leleshwa Suite Tent

At last Jon could enjoy a bed that allowed him to stretch out and still be on the bed!  In an emergency, or at a party, the bed could easily accommodate five!  To top it all off a bottle of champagne was waiting on ice (rapidly melting) - you couldn't ask for better.

Our first afternoon started with the theory of photography.   What did we take away - photography is art, its about composition and the 5 "Fs"!   Mike did a remarkable job of keeping us both under control for most of our stay.

Side-striped Jackal

Game drives were full day events with breakfast and lunch in the Mara.  The usual suspects were out to welcome us back to the park along with new species, for us, at least including the Side-Striped Jackal and the Steinbock.  Being charged by a highly irate Leopard was a new experience too and not one we are in a hurry to repeat, unless of course an effective barrier and a machete wielding Masai are present.  The migration was in full flow and so, unfortunately, were hoards of tourists in what has been become known as "Rice Rockets", hideous white mini-vans generally occupied by very loud and frequently stupid homo sapiens.  We found refuge down by the Sand River, close to the Tanzanian border.  For reasons that are unfathomable nobody else was there - Yay!

Masai Home

Evening milking time - women and children
do all the work

Flies - no escaping them!

Sherry did the Masai Mara village thingy.  This has always been something we have avoided like the plague as canned "cultural" visits are nothing more than an opportunity to fleece visitors of hefty wads of foreign currency.  Leleshwa is different.  The village you visit is a real Masai community and the experience is sometimes a little too real.   Seeing hundreds of cows, sheep and goats making their way back to the village for milking before being corralled for the night was incredible.  We can't keep four cats and a dog under control.  Humbling really.  Looking at dollar signs, our animals cost more to feed for a day than an entire family lives on for a week, I am sure that this information would be the definitive proof that we are certifiably insane!  Masai homes are small in the extreme, Jon would battle just to get through the door, it is overwhelming to see what they achieve with so little.  Cultural issues are another subject altogether and some of their practices, female circumcision for example, are difficult to accept.  It is a world apart from our own and it was a privilege to be allowed such intimate access into their lives.


 Some images to finish with.......kwaherini!

Lunch time in the Mara - Leleshwa Style

Jackal puppy - aaaaaaaah!

Up close and personal to an exhausted lion

Nine month update...

It's hard to believe that we have been here for nine months already.  At once it seems as though it was yesterday when we started this crazy adventure, at the same time it seems centuries away when we lived in the regulated and somewhat more predictable world of Hardegg.

One of numerous visitors
to the verandah every day!

Little has happened in the two months since last we wrote.  Wally has grown into a handsome adolescent boy, still all paws which seem to have a mind of their own and contribute to his less than graceful gait.  The cats are steadfastly holding to their territory - inside the house and venture out to play only when the dog is asleep.  Wally on the other hand, is desperate to make friends with and play with the cats and on the rare occasion when they are in the garden barrels towards them at full speed.  The cats engage lightening speed reflexes which propel them up trees or on to the roof of the house leaving the dog confused and frustrated. 

I am afraid you will just have to imagine
his glorious bright red wings

The wild birds have benefited enormously from this turn of events and we are regularly inundated by firefinches, cordon bleus and seedeaters on the verandah.  At the same time a "dole" of doves, up to thirty at a time, now feel safe enough to crowd on the birdtable and distribute the seed all over the lawn.  We are anticipating the we will start a new trend in millet lawns!  More exciting, but less frequent visitors to the garden include the turaco, their colours stunning in flight and the giant African harrier hawk that does a a remarkable job of clearing the skies, trees and bushes of all birdlife, within milliseconds of its arrival.

A business trip to Dar es Salaam for CRAfrica turned into comedy of errors which started at the airport.  We were clearly far too efficient booking our flights two months in advance.  A week prior to departure we were informed that our outbound flight had been rescheduled and would leave 90 minutes later than planned, not too much of a problem we thought.... Our taxi to the airport remarkably got us there in 35 minutes, a journey that can take 2.5 hours!  We strolled casually to the check-in desk to be informed that the flight had closed and was due to leave. 

No precision whatsoever about this airline!

The departure time having been re-rescheduled to the original.  Some warning would have been useful.  Fortunately they were willing to call the gate and ask them to wait for us -  clearly they were not trained by Air France!  A frustrating delay at passport control, obviously the speed at which we arrived at their desk alerted them to the fact that we had plenty of time to spend watching them look at every stamp, at least twice, in our passports made for a mad dash through the re-furbished terminal. We made it to the gate and subsequently boarded - Yay, we made it!  At midday in Nairobi, even in winter, you do not want to be sitting on the apron in a tiny Dash-8, full of less than fragrant passengers, but sit we did, for at least 30 minutes, whilst they unloaded bags and then waited for a passenger who was in no hurry.  

Sunset adding a glow to the jetty

An uneventful flight landed us in Dar to join the somewhat haphazard immigration process.  We have learned to keep our mouths shut when governmental systems are less than efficient.  A British traveller behind us had no such reticence and loudly proclaimed the system as the worst in Africa.  We took several side steps to ensure that everybody could clearly see that although carrying the same passport we had nothing to do with this person who was oblivious to the less than friendly body language of the officials.  Finally we were called to the desk.  Having collected the $100 necessary to enter the country all attempts at friendliness gone, our passports were scrutinized, we were glared upon, fingerprints taken and unceremoniously directed, with a shake of the head, to the baggage area.  The baggage area contained very little baggage, specifically it did not contain our bags.

It was some 15 hours and at least 20 telephone calls after our arrival that our bags eventually arrived at the hotel (02h30).

View from the terrace at the training venue
- it beats your typical business hotel!

 After a tortuous week in Dar we returned home,  again flight changes making for a rushed check-in, the plus being that they also rushed our bags through.

For the first time in about six weeks we are back outside on the verandah enjoying sunshine!  Winter in Nairobi is horrible. Grey, cold, damp...in a word, miserable.  Don't plan a holiday here at this time of year - ever.  Everything is growing like crazy, particularly weeds:-(  Raffi has found some rough ground somewhere that specializes in a weed with superglue properties with a predilection for cat fur.  On our arrival back from Dar we found a very sorry for himself cat, his coat a tangled mess forcing us to remove huge chunks of fur in an attempt tidy him up.  He currently resembles a soft toy that has been subject to a three year old's attempt at hairdressing.

The drought has had disastrous consequences up country, no sooner than the desperately needed rain arrived it caused flash floods adding chaos to mayhem.  The situation has resulted in everyday items disappearing from supermarket shelves, the most prominent of which has been sugar.  For our staff this was a major problem.  Sugar is added in copious quantities to everything, a cup of tea is undrinkable unless it has at least 4-5 teaspoons of sugar added to it!  Helen was certainly more excited by the gift of a couple of hundred sachets of sugar than she was by her salary! 

At the end of the month we return briefly to Vienna, a work driven break but it means we get to see the SHIT team (Stevie, Hazel, Ian and Taylor) for the first time in a very long time and although it will be a fleeting visit we are really looking forward to seeing the kids again - YAHOO!

 

Where's Wally?

Where's Wally?

Hi!  I'm Mbwa, who the hell is "Wally"

The big one and the little one came to the den again...this time though they kept hold of me for a long time.  The others just kept their heads down, I am pretty sure they were pretending to be asleep because this happened yesterday and two of the pack didn't come back.   There was a lot of talk about "Wally", he must be from another pack, maybe the one down the road.  I was getting hungry and bored so was about to practise my new call when I was put into a box with a huge chewing mat.  I nearly fell over with fright when a huge bang made it much darker in the box.  The people kept talking about Wally, perhaps I was being taken to meet him.  Eventually the rumbling under the box stopped, the light came on again and I was back outside.  I was getting a bit fed up with all this "Wally" talk and tried to express my frustration at being ignored by gently nibbling a finger.  Result!  Back on the ground I started hunting for the pack, smells are all wrong, can't find anyone.  Fast-moving things on four legs won't let me smell their butt and make horrible noises.  They run up trees and go into the place where the big and little one are still talking about Wally.  The box with the giant chewing mat is a good place to hide.


Today they brought me a new toy but they wouldn't let me chew it.  They wanted to tie it around my back so that I can't chew it.  What sort of toy is this.  The little one kept making snorting noises, I think she must be ill.  The big one made lots of really loud, weird noises and then just walked off.  He didn't want to play and took the toy with him.


New two-legged creatures are here, also talking about Wally.   One of them keeps making holes for me to dig in and has huge chewing toys (note from two legged creature "wellington boots") at the end of his legs, he is very greedy and won't let me chew them.  The other one keeps disappearing into the place where everyone goes but won't let me in.  I have found three big holes, that I can get through, sometimes.  I don't know why the creatures keep going in there, everytime I get through the hole  my legs go in different directions and the two legged things keep shouting "No".   


Two weeks ago this became the most often heard phrase in our household!  Our newest family member, Wally, took over our lives.

At seven weeks old the cute little puppy left his rather large family to join a household of felines that had no intention of preparing a welcome party. A harsh adjustment at the best of times.  It has to be said however that the greatest adjustment to be made was for the human component of the family.

For twenty years we have had a clowder of cats.  OK, so I had to look it up.....I mean, a "clowder" of cats????? Where does that come from?  But back to the point, we have always been surrounded by intelligent, occasionally aloof, and always independent, felines.  

And then "Wally".  

Defying all the rules of motion!

Without being at all judgmental, "stupid" is the best adjective that can be applied to the boy, who seems to have a severe case of ADD.  On a good day his attention span can only be measured in seconds.  He falls over his feet, our feet, his food bowl, the stairs....at times he seems to just fall over!  The cats, all of whom have developed a penchant for elevated viewing platforms, sit for hours watching him, their bemused and superior expressions completely ignored by Wally whose full concentration is needed to keep all four paws travelling in the same direction! 

"Walter Ndege", to give him his registered name is a red wheaten Rhodesian Ridgeback.  Growing at a rate of over 1kg a week, the lovable, sleepy pup who weighed just 1.2 kg five weeks ago is beginning to show us what he will grow into, a seriously handsome dog, who, if you don't know him, may come across as just a little bit scary!  At the moment however we are worse than nervous parents, we worry that he is too cold, too thin, too lonely, too aggressive and so it goes on......

Keeping warm on Mummy's feet

Today he weighed in at 7.6kgs which already makes him heavier than Rafiki.  Raffi, despite his size and speed (if necessary) will have absolutely nothing to do with Wally whose attempts at a face to face meet and greet session are shunned outright. 

Given the cats indifference to the new boy, we have tried to compensate, and perhaps, just occasionally we go a little OTT.   Unseasonal thunderstorms in Nairobi have been dramatic over the past couple of weeks.   What do we do?  Sit outside with Wally, in case he is scared.  Jon went one step further and lay him on my feet, wrapped in the slanket!   Enormous thanks to a great friend and animal lover, Marion, who has provided us with a supply of puppy treats, that make Wally the most spoilt puppy in Kenya!

Helen and Wally

Its official, small animals clearly possess magical powers, their key spell being to bewitch all who look into their eyes.  Wally's powers have extended to our staff.  Helen, in particular, is besotted with him, and in honesty, the attraction seems to be mutual.  There is of course another option, Wally is not short on brain cells at all and has sussed that Helen is an easier touch than surrogate Mum and Dad.  

Juma who cares for our garden is nothing more than a dream come true for Wally - attention all day! Juma trims the bushes, Wally eats what is left, Juma rakes the leaves, Wally redistributes them, Juma washes the verandah, Wally digs in the garden and returns the verandah to his preferred state....covered in pawprints.  

Basically he's a dog, after twenty years with cats....what an idiot we have bought!  He is lovable and we have high hopes that he will grow into his feet and learn to move with a semblance of grace and dexterity.


Our lives will return one hopes, to something more than puppy-sitting in the not-too-distant future.


Kwaherini

It has been a while....

Winter is approaching

The rainy reason, supposed to start at the end of March-ish and run through until May has come and I presume,  gone being as we have only had one downpour in the past fortnight.  That said winter is on its way.  Despite noon day temperatures of around 25 degrees, the evenings herald a rapid chill demanding donning of fleece or wrapping in slanket....no, not a typo, if you don't already own one of these, its time to get one!  http://www.theslanket.com/

The battle may be over
but the war is yet to be won

Rafiki prior to Jon arriving for bed

The boys are developing their winter coats again, Boshi in particular, looks like a cat again, he was fast beginnning to resemble a bald-necked vulture with a penchant for biltong and droewors.  All four have decided that THE place to sleep is on our bed, this makes sleep for the humans that bought the bed less than optimal.  Competition for the duvet is fierce, I am embarrassed to admit that the cats are generally the winners if competing against me.  Jon, on the other hand is using his long-neglected rugby skills to persuade the cats to leave the bed rapidly, i.e. using a drop-kick.

A new enemy on the horizon

Wally, aged 4 weeks

In two weeks time the ultimate enemy descends upon our relatively peaceful household. Walter, or more affectionately known as Wally, currently a miniature Lion Dog (Rhodesian Ridgeback) has been selected from a huge litter of 13 to join our menagerie. We anticipate that all hell will break loose and it is just as well that Maisha can no longer access his favourite hiding place - the chimney! 

What Wally will grow into,
by which time the cats
will have made clear who is boss

The cats will still have control over the house as Wally is born and bred to live outside - aaaaaah.  Before you feel the need to contact animal welfare agencies around the world, he will have a comfy bed and shelter from the elements (cats excluded).

Our Friends and Other Animals

The arrival of guests is the perfect excuse to go on safari, so no exceptions when Yannick came over for two weeks, regrettably without Nele.  Yes, we went back to the Mara making a foolish mistake and trying out a new camp, Oloshaiki.  The trip achieved a first, all three of us left the camp with acute back pain.  

Target Identified

Health issues aside, the game viewing was excellent with a star performance by the famous three cheetah brothers (Honey's cubs) stalking and killing a hartebeest during our first evening.  Equally impressive on our last morning were the instincts of a female giraffe protecting her newborn from a hungry hyena.  In between....all the usual culprits from the big five to killer bees, the bees choosing to viciously attack Yannick.

A Mother's Love

Lesson for the future....

If you find cheap(ish) accommodation in the Mara, there is a reason why

Hunting for a New Home

As you know, Nairobi, for us, was never a contender as a place to settle.  We are in our fifth month of living in Kenya's capital city, often called Nairobbery and whilst we haven't yet been robbed we have managed to be arrested.  In fact, Jon has now been arrested twice.  In case you are wondering if we have turned to crime to exist, don't panic.  Our "crime"  was causing an obstruction with a motor vehicle.  This is a loosely applied concept which appears to have fluid borders with the clear purpose of seriously lightening your load (cash).  With a promise of overnight accommodation at the pleasure of the local constabulary in communal same sex dorms plus a hefty contribution to the judicial system we took the easier route of asking the officer to look kindly upon us.....

To Nanyuki, the current front runner for our next Kenyan residence.  Nestled within the foothills of Mount Kenya and bang on the equator Nanyuki boasts one of the best climates in the world, access to Nairobi by air (30 minutes) and if pushed by road (5 hours), the road is currently is currently being expanded and re-carpeted.   We have not lost the plot and started laying Axminister everywhere - this is the term used by Kenyans for re-surfacing a road. 

Hunting for land to buy in Kenya is rarely an easy task.  The land that is advertised for sale is always owned by the cousin of Harvey the Rabbit, no one actually knows if it is actually for sale, who the owner is and what the price is.  The more links in the chain the higher the price and finding the links is similar to trying to find hens teeth. 

Until next time,

Kwaherini

Moving into the Modern World!

Business Efficiency on the Up!

It wouldn't normally be a subject of particular interest, I know, but considering we moved to Nairobi to improve our communication with the outside world, it has to be worth a line or two!

First and foremost, to all with a Skype connection, we can at last speak to you and hear you without too much frustration.... we can even manage a video hook-up without breaking the bank!  Let me back-track a little and set the scene....

To access the internet in a land where hard-wired connections to your home are at best, unusual and in Naivasha were impossible, mobile connection was the only option.  You buy a "dongle", stick it into a USB port and with luck are able to pick up a connection; in Naivasha we managed a measly 2kbps link from home; Nairobi was significantly better and at certain hours we exceeded 1mb! Ensuring that the service was available as and when needed means that your dongle must be loaded....

A subset of our collection of scratchcards,
none of which were winning cards:-(

As Kenyan newbies, we were stuck with the pre-paid approach which required for both our phones and the internet, buying an inordinate number of scratch cards.  There is a catch, having loaded your dongle, you then have a 30 day limit in which to use your data "bundle".  Finding the balance between having enough capacity and not throwing money away was a challenge.  Skype sessions incidentally, are particularly effective at eating through your bundle at a rate of knots.  A further challenge came in the form of actually having the pre-requisite number of scratchcards necessary to re-load when your bundle ran out of kbs...available pretty much anywhere, from the street vendors to supermarkets it shouldn't be a problem to pick up a card, but TIA rules apply!  One attempt to purchase Safaricom cards was particularly frustrating, 

At the supermarket... "We have none", "When do you expect to have some?", "Perhaps soon...."

At the garage... "I think they are gone", "Can you check and see if you have any, please?", "They have gone..."

In desperation...with the street vendor.. 'They will come", "I understand but I need a Safaricom card now", "I think perhaps you must use a Zain card", "Zain is not the provider for my dongle, I need Safaricom", "The Safaricom card will come"..... and so will our rapid admission to the local psychiatric unit!

Our days of internet frustration are over!  After weeks of trying to get someone, anyone at Safaricom to respond to email messages, telephone messages and personal visits to their shops to get a business package, Jon eventually made contact with Alex, who provided us with a service second to none!  Within a week of Alex being on the case the engineers were on their way to put a mast up on our house and a post-paid account set-up with unlimited bandwidth -Woohoo!

Before reading what follow it is important to know that a detailed map to our house was provided to Safaricom.

The telephone calls from the driver started at 08.45....

"Where are you?" asks the driver

"Where are you?" responds Jon

"Langata Cemetry"

"Its easy from there, straight up Langata to the roundabout at Karen Junction, turn left on to Ngong Road, follow the Ngong Road until you reach the Shade Hotel and turn right at the next junction"

"What?"

For the sake of brevity, the previous two sentences were repeated four times, eventually the driver responded with "I will call you when I get to the junction"

30 minutes pass

Phone rings, "Where are you?" asks the same driver

Above scenario repeated several times....

10 minutes pass

Phone rings, "I can't find you, can you come to me?

"Where are you?" asks Jon

"Windy Ridge, at the Italia Osteria Restaurant"  Given the instructions above (repeated on numerous occasions), J was at a loss to understand why the driver had made an unscheduled stop.....

"Its really simple, turn right on to Ngong Road heading towards Ngong Town, turn right on to Kerarapon Road immediately after the Shade Hotel"

"OK, I will call you when I get there"  (Note we are literally 2 kms along a straight road from Windy Ridge)

10 minutes pass

Phone rings, "Where are you?"

"Where are you?"

"Shade Hotel"

"I am not at the Shade Hotel, turn right after the hotel on to Kerarapon Road, go to the barrier ask the security guard where we are"

10 more minutes pass.....

Phone rings again....."I am in Kanaiya Close, where are you?"  Given that there are only four other houses in the close and that we are at number three the challenge was not enormous.

11.00 AM 5 more minutes pass, J opens the gate and gesticulates to the vehicle sitting in the middle of the road to come into our driveway.  

FOUR "engineers" climb out of the car and remove from their boot a laptop, a screwdriver, a drill, a pair of pliers, the mast, an extension lead and a roll of wire.  What they did not have was a ladder, given that the mast was to be mounted on the roof we were wondering if levitation was the approach to accessing their mounting point. (additional TIA fact - anybody who needs to access the roof for whatever purpose will never bring a ladder - if you want the job done ensure you have the requisite ladder or at least several long pieces of wood that they can nail together to climb up).

11.20 Work starts....

Hard at work, playing online gambling game
"the signal must be tested"

Hard at work, the Supervisor who
later moved under a tree

The seemingly simple task of erecting a pole and attaching it to the chimney was clearly exhausting and took just over two hours, the excessive time required probably because we were not willing to accept their proposal to "drape the wire over the roof and into the house through an open window".  Asking them to feed the wire under a roof tile and into the house via the loft space was greeted with tutting and shaking of heads.

13.30 Activity in the house begins with an attempt to connect our router to their network cable.....

"I have never seen one of these before" (Apple Time Machine Router)

"Just the same as any other router, plug the wire in there and set the parameters"

Glazed look....

J provides access to the router and left them to it....those of you who have seen our entertainment system will know that after a certain length of inactivity the screensaver will be projected on to the wall, the screensaver being our photograph library.  This miracle of modern technology clearly outweighed the need to do their job and all four engineers spent an hour sitting, mouths agape, watching our photographs scroll across the wall, who needs cinema?

The following two hours were spent entering the same sequence of numbers into the router, over and over again, clearly the expectation was that eventually the network spirit would take pity upon the intrepid engineers and accept the right combination of numbers.   Understanding that the network spirit could be in a similar pose to the one depicted above; numerous, increasingly frenetic calls to the technical department at Safaricom were also made.

16.25 "It works"  

"Thanks, bye" No tip given, three appointments missed, a day wasted.....

Postscript....two days following the installation, our routine alarm check revealed that the Safaricom engineers had unplugged our intruder alarm/panic button system leaving us without the means to hail our friendly brick shit house sized guards in the event of an emergency.  Suffice to say that Ultimate Security employ significantly better qualified engineers complete with ladders!

Stationery Supplies

Coming from Europe and having needed to source stationery in large quantities on a regular basis we naively thought that it would be relatively simple to obtain a similar service here......WRONG (again).  Despite the fact that Nairobi is the major conference destination in East Africa, has hundreds of legally registered and probably thousands of unregistered businesses, you would assume (wrongly) that stationery would be easy to find.  The most recent edition of the Yellow Pages has at least 50 stationery suppliers listed. This  does not mean that:

a) They are actually in business

b) That the contact numbers listed are accurate

c) That having made contact there will be anyone who understands your needs (90gsm paper)

Visit to OfficeMart Shop - they are in business and have numerous physical premises in Nairobi

"Do you have 90gsm paper"

"No"

"Can you get 90gsm paper"

"No"

"Are you sure?" You may think that we are a little arrogant in asking this question, however, limited but intense exposure to general shop assistants has proven that they do not see any need to verify if a product is indeed available, this would necessitate moving from the spot of choice in which to spend their day.

"mmmmm, yes" followed by a resumption of their conversation with colleague or on permanently connected mobile phone.

"Errr, excuse me, I am not finished"

"What?"

"Do you have an HP05X toner cartridge"

Sigh, "I will call you back" and puts mobile phone in pocket  

Stares at large stack of HP inkjet cartridges for a protracted period

"No"

An irritate Jon responds..."It won't be there, you are looking at Inkjet cartridges, not toners"

Glazed look

"No, we won't have it"

J heads for nearest watering hole, shaking head and rolling eyes.

J resorts to the internet, not a generally viable approach here but when needs must...

Office Mart (again) - they have a website!  No prices, no online ordering - for each item you must send an individual enquiry about availability and price.  A request for catalogue resulted in a powerpoint presentation being sent via email, again without prices!  There is no such thing in Kenya as an RRP.  Prices are subject to fluctuation dependent on far too many variables to calculate.

It works!  It takes five emails to order one item but it works! 

John, the despatch rider arrives with coolbox
containing plastic wallets and toner cartridges,
on top of which were strapped two boxes of paper -
glad we didn't order the filing cabinet,
although the delivery would have been a joy to behold
- see previous blogs!

Documents wallets tied up with string,
less than perfect packaging but the
requisite supplies at last in the office!

Back to Safaricom

The scratchcard story applies to our mobile phones too.  Post-paid accounts are a recent development here requiring the patience of Job to set up an account.

First join the Safaricom queue, anticipate a minimum of 10 people before you...

One hour later, reach the service desk and collect the inevitable forms.

Forms completed at home in less than five minutes and scans of ID card and PIN number attached.

Return to a Safaricom shop (Yaya Centre), queue......

"Sorry, you cannot do that here, we are not a Safaricom shop"

"Ummm, you have large signs everywhere indicating that this is a Safaricom shop, you are selling telephones and you are wearing a Safaricom uniform"

"No, this is the wrong shop"

"Where do I have to go?"

"Another shop"

"Any particular shop?"

"Yes, a Safaricom shop"

S, having spent two hours getting to this particular Safaricom shop is less than impressed and sees yet another day in Nairobi traffic ahead.

Another TIA addition - what should be a five minute job inevitably leads to a full day out of the office and no guarantee of success.

A Real Safaricom Shop (Sarit Centre)

No visual difference between the real and imaginary shops although queues perhaps a little longer.

J enters queue, S goes shopping

35 minutes later S returns..."You haven't moved"

J has become Kenyan, "No", S leaves

40 minutes later S joins J at desk where assistant is mumbling and verbally asking for the information written on the form in front of him. 20 minutes later he has managed to enter name, address and telephone number for J's phone.  A further 10 minutes of staring at the screen...."its not working, there is a problem", he leaves and enters what looks like a cupboard.  10 minutes later he resurfaces puts J's paperwork to one side and starts on S's application, regrettably slightly more complicated  as international roaming required.

A further 30 minutes later J leaves for the bank to withdraw vast sums of cash required as a deposit.  

Having handed over the cash S is informed that service on her phone would be interrupted until credit checks have been completed.  J is happy as Larry (whoever he is) that he can now make calls (up to the limit of his deposit) and no more, regardless without ever having to scratch another card.

Lessons Learned

Patience

Patience

PATIENCE
Sod it, let's go and have a drink....

We are now connected!

Kwaherini!